I do not expect people to vote for me. I really don’t. I’m a seven-year-old cat and, me being a cat, I don’t even know what that translates into in “human years”. My candidacy is purely satirical and I expect to be taken even less seriously than John McAfee’s bid to become president.
But before we seriously dive into things, let’s take a quick unscientific poll. Would you consider voting for a cat as president if you had a choice?
What I’d bring to the table as a presidential candidate:
- Long naps
- Some pest control in the form of chasing small animals that get into the White House
- Commonsense policies that include shrinking the federal government so I can make time for those long naps
- Support for animals, including assistance for pets and their families who struggle to make ends meet
- Emphasis on private charities that understand the needs of their local communities better than the federal government does
- Support for small businesses
- Catnip, cat toys, and cat treats
Expect frequent updates from me and, of course, follow me on Twitter if you want. But don’t bother voting for me if you think you like another candidate better. This is just a joke.